Starting Over

Have you ever had an experience in life that changed everything for you?  Not just a little change like wearing your hair different or changing your exercise routine ( or starting one). I mean something that comes along and WHAM! knocks you back, makes you stop, and then everything has to change.  Your plans, your future, the way you think and make decisions.  It all changes and you find yourself on a completely new path in life.  Well, it happened to me.

But, lets get started on the right foot.  Hi there! Remember me.  Yes, its still the same person.  This random post may be popping up for someone out there who thought that I had passed on from blog land.  Seeing as it has been almost five years, you would have been right.  Except, here I am.  Its that WHAM! I was just talking about.  I'll get there in a moment, I promise.  Its a good thing.  Worth the wait I would say.

So...five years... a lot happened.  My kids grew up.  I still homeshcooled.  I began a small side craft business.  My husband and I became licensed ministers and the Associate Pastors of our church.  I started trying to grow and preserve a good amount of our own food.  In essence, I got busy.  Real busy.  There was not time for blogs anymore.

Then WHAM!

I was out working the garden one day and I really wasn't feeling up to it.  Which wouldn't have been strange as the garden is a lot of work.  But I hadn't been up to a lot of things.  Every day I was getting worse.  Finally I decided to go see the doctor.  I wasn't expecting the news she gave me.  Who really is expecting it.  I sobbed.  I was in shock.

I was pregnant.

Didn't see that coming did you?  Well, me either.

I want to get one thing very clear though.  I was not sobbing about the baby, it was about the pregnancy.  I wanted more kids.  I had even been thinking about possibly trying to become foster parents.  But pregnancy?  No.  My body was not made to make babies.  My doctor told me that my son should be my last one.  It would not be a healthy choice to have another child.  But have another child it would be.  And she was definitely worth it!

Unfortunately the doc was right. The pregnancy was long and rough.  There was a lot of sitting and laying and doing of nothing.  I literally could do nothing.  No standing, no walking. no cooking. Even no knitting and crocheting!  The one thing I could do...think.  I did lots of thinking and observing.  I watched my family.  I thought about what our life was filled with and what it felt like. I thought about what was missing. The end result I did not like.  I vowed to make a change.  But what did I want our life to look like.  Thats when I remembered this blog and the early days with my older kids.  The joy of spending time with them.  Having time to get all the crafts out and make a mess.  To go on long walks and just enjoy the nature around us. Lots of laughter.  I miss all of that.

This new child is like a new start.  We have made a lot of changes already to accommodate her.  But I want to make more changes.  I can't have exactly what I had then.  My older two are now 10 and 8.  They have different needs now and definitely have their own opinions.  But I want to try.  I want to trade my busy days for Blissful Moments.  Its my hope that by documenting this, I will stay accountable to myself.  Old habits are hard to change.

( Sunset on Lake Superior this past Summer)

I hope you will enjoy joining me on this journey.